There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark



Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Change is hard

I had lunch with an old friend today. I drove up to her house to pick her up, a home she will be moving out of in a few weeks. Friend had been married to a high school buddy of my husband and I met her through the buddy. She had moved up to our neck of the woods in 1997 and my first sight of her was a tiny woman dressed in sweats from head to toe stoking a slash pile a million times her size. She has been a complex sometimes difficult person to be a friend to, but we have had a lot of good times and reminisced over burritos and chili rellanos. The buddy died almost 2 years ago and friend has had a tough time living in the snow, summer garden, spring rains, leaves everywhere of the Inland Northwest. She met a man online, has fallen in love again and will move to another state to start over and find happiness.

I visited the grave of the buddy......he is buried in the friend's garden on their 5 acres of land. The place will always be B & J's no matter who lives there, but I won't be able to visit again nor will my husband who is sad beyond words to essentially lose both of them...at least up close and personally.

I am sure we will email for a while, maybe call each other, but the truth of moving and having miles and states between friends is that the friendship can fade just like the afternoon sun.

I am going to be 62 this November and change gets harder and harder. I miss my children more and more and feel the isolation of living in the most beautiful place on earth some days. While my surroundings are magnificent, the trees, forest wildlife and my cats and dogs just can't fill that space in my heart that should be overflowing with my family. A sweet kitty kiss cannot replace my granddaughter's hugs and the feel of baby breath on my cheek from my grandson.

Life. Just life.

3 comments:

celerman said...

Love life, love bacon. How do you keep yourself happy and healthy? How do you raise kids to be independent and not miss them too.

Amongst all the dross, your blog made me think and s,ile and feel as if I know you, or at least the essence of you.

gina said...

I am so thankful my kids and grandkids live relatively close by. I don't know how I am going to handle Jonathan being in France for 3 months. How will I get along without the daily phone call? I know what you mean, and how you feel. I miss my siblings and my uncle so much.... life....

Maybe one "cure" would be to eat tons and tons of bacon and chocolate! ;)

rosemary said...

I have two comments!!!! Thank you both. Johnathan will come back and if he has the right cell phone he can call...often. You two.....the very last thing I need to fail is my lab test...no chocolate, no bacon. Sizzlean only!