There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark



Friday, July 20, 2007

Almost 40 hours

I haven't seen SweetPea and the babies since Wednesday night. It will be 40 hours soon. Sounds silly I guess but I am worried about them and even more worried that I will never see them again.

We had a really big, bad storm pass through Thursday at 2:30 in the morning. It lasted for hours, pounded the house with thunder and lit up the forest with lightening; hail rained down and sounded like rocks on the roof. Penelope tried to get up on the bed but thankfully her butt is loaded and she didn't succeed. The kitties were all hiding and all I could do was lay awake until it passed close to 6 AM.

I have a routine with Pea. I go out in the morning at about 10 and play with her, hold her and tell her I love her. We had hatched a plan where she could eventually come inside to live and I promised her I would find good homes for her babies. She is still a baby, she needed a mommy and who am I kidding, I want her. If she is a year old I would be surprised.

I would go out again at dusk when the babies had napped all day long and were more receptive to the big human that talked baby talk and fed them. I was able to sit within 2 or 3 feet of all 4 babies and watch them gobble their can of kitten tuna. I bought a Furpie and we had started playing and socializing a little bit. I "borrowed" Steve's laser pointer and they danced around trying to catch the light. After our dusk play date I would go inside and watch them from Steve's office window as they jumped and ran in the wild daisies.

No SweetPea or babies yesterday morning. OK, I left the tuna on their plates thinking they were out napping in the coolness that had come after the storm. I went out at noon. The food looked untouched. I went out at 2, 3, 4, 6 and finally at dusk I picked up the bee covered food and took it inside. I got the flashlight and walked into forest a bit, but came in after knowing if I did find anything bad I would not be able to stand the sight.

I am not exaggerating when I say that our forest is alive with danger for small animals. Squirrels were in danger because of SweetPea as were the Pine Siskins. We have not seen the bears for a while but it has been hot and the berries are shriveled and dying I have read. We have mountain lions and a den of thriving coyotes a few miles down the road because the idiot people whose property the den is on put their food garbage by the mouth of the den for the "poor skinny creatures." We have voles, raccoons, porcupines, skunks and anything else that naturally lives on the acreage we call home.

I know I am a silly old woman who has placed cats and dogs and Bambi's and squirrels in the pockets of my heart where little children used to come for comfort. But, you know what, they have been magic for me, kept me sane and are the best company anyone could ask for. I love them and they in return act like they tolerate my affection and allow me to think they love me too.

So, I am off to go check for the third time this morning. Of course I am crying. Of course I don't have much hope that when I next go out SweetPea will come sauntering out like she was always there and I-just-came-at-the-wrong-time-silly-human. But, maybe later today or tomorrow I can announce that my wild child and her babies are back.

14 comments:

Mom said...

I'm crossing all my fingers and toes hoping Pea and babies reappear soon. I know it hurts to just not know where they are and what has happened. Keep us posted.

cs said...

Oh Ro;
Mop your tears, they will be home soon...really. They know where their bread is buttered. Do you want the Twinkies to come up and visit? I will steal some mint from the acres and acres in the prairie and we can sit on the porch, sip ice tea, and talk and wait....yes they will be back. Hugs! & Twinkie kisses

Lorraine said...

Here kitty, kitty! Here kitty, kitty!

cs said...

Ro, I almost forgot..we were a Nielson family for all of 2mos. up here this past spring...these 2 really nice guys came bearing much candy and a 20, with promises of more, and then tried to hook up their gizmos to our tv's. The service guy blew up the tv downstairs so I told them no more...!!! They had to buy us a new tv...never heard from them again...I won't tell...I hope you have better luck!

Jennie said...

I'm sure you are sad and upset. Just the other day I couldn't find Ruby for one minute outside and started to panic that she'd escaped her invisible fence. We want to take good care of our little animals, don't they know that!? I hope they come home very soon.

Ex-Shammickite said...

You worry too much.... she'll be back bringing the little ones with her. Just be patient.

kenju said...

I would be frantic, Rosemary, so I understand your feelings. I hope you find them.

Auld Hat said...

Well, this is not sitting well with me at all. Why is the Universe conspiring against cat lovers lately? I mean, what the samn hell?!

more cowbell said...

I'm sorry, Rosemary. And it's not silly at all. That 'pockets of your heart where little children used to be' got me to sniffling. (And I've still got big heavy teenagers kicking around in my pockets.)

yes, it's a dangerous place out there, as you've said, but your little mamma is still a mamma, and I bet she can be pretty damn crafty in defense of her little ones. Here's hoping they turn up soon.

rosemary said...

Well, 7 trips out and no Pea. I can only hope she found another place that was quieter, had better food and bigger squirrels and no barking dogs. I have seen hawks and an eagle today as well. Thank you all for your kind words...it is hard to not cry or worry.

jan said...

Please don't think of yourself as silly (or old). You are a beautiful person. You've done the best for them you can, but some things are just out of human control. We have to accept that nature happens. We cry and go on with life.

Sandy said...

That made me cry. I want them all home and safe. After our first dog died I swore I'd never have another pet again, too much pain. She died with such dignity and taught me so much about facing life and death. Took me about 6 months to the day before I put my heart back on the line. I can't or don't want to live without them.

Sling said...

"I know I am a silly old woman who has placed cats and dogs and Bambi's and squirrels in the pockets of my heart where little children used to come for comfort."
Oh,..I am keeping that one.
Beautifully done rosemary.
I hope the kitties are safe,and warm.

Middle Child said...

Hopefully all will be well...so that next time you post you can tell us all so.