There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark



Friday, July 13, 2007

Something so.....not every day can be fun in blogland

I heard a song today and it brought back lots of memories. Not every day can be fun in blogland. But, with friends it doesn't have to be.


When I was 5 I wanted to be a dancer. I would play The Hungarian Rhapsody #2 on my 78 RPM record player and dance until my heart soared and then I would dance some more.

And I was in crazy motion.....

When I was 9 I wanted to be a Sister of Charity. I prayed and prayed and hoped my heart would soar to the heavens and then I prayed some more. I loved the coronet and the way the nuns looked when they walked, almost like floating. I wanted to be a good girl.

til you calmed me down......


When I was 13 I wanted to be a doctor. I took all of the right classes my first year in high school and I thought I would heal the masses and my heart would soar higher than the clouds. Then I saw him. My heart skipped a beat and the doctor in me misdiagnosed my condition.

Some people never say the words I Love You; it's not their style....


When I was 15 I wanted to love and be loved. I thought my heart was large enough to hold and give all of the love in the world and I could soar into womanhood. I was married the March before my 16th birthday and my first son was born in August. I was finally truly in love and my heart soared.

Some people never say the words I Love You, but like a child I'm longing to be told.

When I was 17 my daughter was born and my heart burst from her sweetness. I didn't know love was that wonderful. I was soaring.

and you've got the look of love right in your eyes....

When I was 21 I was divorced. My heart hurt, but, my children kept me strong and we soared together.

It took a little time, but you calmed me down....

When I was 25 I fell in love again and was sure my heart was telling me the truth. My youngest son was born in 1969. He filled that last place in my heart and I didn't think I could be happier. The problem with soaring is staying on track.

and I was in crazy motion...

When I was 29 I was divorced again. My heart was wounded and I thought my soaring days were over. My children kept me grounded, school filled those hard hours when someone would have been coming home from work and then I fluttered and started to soar a bit again.

If something goes wrong I'm the first to admit it....

Foolish heart, weak heart; it was addicted to this soaring. I was 25 again and my heart lied for the second time about the same love. This time I didn't hurt when it was over. I had started to build a wall around my heart that held it tight and pulled my children close. We were not going to soar again. We were going to march in place, make small advances and be content.

I'm the first to admit it but the last one to know...

When I was 38 my heart had a wall around it. It was sealed off and quiet. It was earth bound and was not going to soar again except for my children. But, it seems I didn't totally control that wall and it started to crack a little and a man found his way inside.

They've got a wall in China that's a thousand miles long. And I've got a wall around me that you can't even see...it took a little time to get next to me.

This time was the charm. I had made oh-so-many-bad-flights, my heart had been broken, mended and healed. I thought being content was enough, but soaring was my heart's desire and so I told it to take off. At 41 I married for the last time. My heart was full, it was soaring and has never stopped.

If something goes right, well it's likely to lose me. It's apt to confuse me because it's such a beautiful site. It took a little time to get next to me.

At 62 I retired. I played The Hungarian Rhapsody #2 today. I might just take up dancing.

16 comments:

Michele said...

Gosh, that was beautifully done. I was totally mezmorized by your words, your life, your emotions. Incredible post, my friend.

Stephanie said...

That is soooo beautiful...Brought shivers.....Love you Rosemary.

Sling said...

That was beautifully written rosemary.
It made me look back on my own life,and the things I thought would last forever.
Well done!

jan said...

Dance, Rosemary. You so deserve to soar.

kenju said...

Well done, Rosemary! I think you just soared.

Auld Hat said...

You are my hero.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Rosemary, that is one of the best posts I've seen. Wonderfully written.

Joan said...

What a beautifully written timeline of your heart's desires, hopes and dreams. It truly brought tears to my eyes.

rosemary said...

Thank you all for the kind words. As I go through the pieces of pictorial and written history of my parents, more and more memories are in my head. I was going thru pix and had the radio on and heard Paul Simon's version of Something So Right. At that moment I had a pix in my hand that my dad had taken of Steve and me in my parent's kitchen and bam, there it all was. All I had to do was take out the HR#2 CD and the post was already written. Maybe I will take a chance and write a bit more of these memories. It feels risky when I do that, but it can't always be fun, right?

Auld Hat said...

Y'know mom, I keep coming back to this post and re-reading it. I just love you. Genuinely. Feels risky to say that too, but you are one amazingly wonderful lady and I feel like I was simply meant to know you.

P.S. I am not a stalker.
heh heh

more cowbell said...

Oh I've always loved that song. Music really gets in there, doesn't it? It can cover years in a split second.

Mom said...

I hope you dance!

Lorraine said...

OK, a) your kid totally is stalking you. Except she's your kid so it isn't really stalking. If only you can see your way clear to forgive the duct tape incident...

And what everyone else said, that was just lovely, Rosie. And that's all there is to say about that.

madretz said...

that took my breath away. i admire your courage, thanks for sharing your heart with us.

gina said...

Okay, that was just awesome my friend! Awesome, and I have goosebumps and tears in my eyes. You are AMAZING!!!! I love you to pieces. Now, about that Hat chick... you'd best keep an eye on her. :)

Middle Child said...

So very beautiful. It made me cry. I have never had a wall around my heart but my eldest sister does... and all I can do is be there. I have always been wide open but luckily so was Don and we were together from 18...not without lots of fights etc...

I am so glad you are soaring. I have a picture before the kitchen sink of a bird soaring...I have had it since I was 28 and it is very precious...its old and tatty... as am i.

Pleased you have the kids...makes a big difference. Pleased you shared all this with us...once again beautiful.