There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Me, Myself and a few others.

I have the feeling this is going to be a long post with no filler pictures or videos......yesterday's video was a filler.

I am in a nostalgic mood.....probably my usual winter funk crap actually. It snowed for the first time last night. No skiff to warn me; Mother Nature just dumped a foot of snow overnight. Period. It is only NOVEMBER. This is the first snow. I am already thinking what in the hell am I doing here????? AND, the frickin plow driver left what is the first of mountains of snow and ice at the end of the driveway because he is an ass and he can.

I am here because Idaho is Steve's bliss. If anyone deserves to follow his bliss it is Steve. He wants me in Idaho with him so here I am. He loves me.

We had a variety of fur on the bed with us last night....little furs and big furs all together and no hissing. Why, it's a miracle! I slept poorly as usual and was thinking about the kittens and SweetPea as I lay really still in bed trying not to wake Steve.

This past summer was magical, sweet, lovely and sad because of Pea and her little brood. The only reason for sadness is because of the way it ended. In the beginning it was tender, heart warming and a challenge coaxing the kittens out and trying to win them over. Then it became a not so good situation with Pea pregnant again and the kittens trying to survive on bird bones. I am up several times a night and I used to go to Steve's office window and look to see if Pea was out there with the kittens. 2 AM and there she would be, snoozing in the daisies while the kittens played with air and dirt and nipped at Pea's tail. Pea was the best Momikat ever and those kittens the most adorable. They all so deserved a chance at a good life in a good home and we accomplished that. Pea is absolutely in heaven at Angela's, Luigi found his own place next door to his original adoptive parents (he wanted to be inside and so he is), Houdini is catching mice at his new home, a perfect job for him given his ability to avoid being seen or heard. And then there is Emma Lee and her brother, Guido Fortunato, the wonder kittens. We have learned you can take the kittens out of the feral but can't get the feral totally out of the kittens.

Mornings are chaotic. Emma is everywhere all at once; eating from her bowl, licking milk from Steve's glass, eating Sophie's food and that always starts a hissing-miaow contest, nudging Guido away from his bowl and even sticking her paw in my coffee chocolate mix to see if she might like that as well. The dogs are jockeying for the best place to quietly eat by moving their bowls with their noses to no avail because.....THERE SHE IS....Emma....wanting to try their dog food. But when it is all over and there is not one morsel left to steal she will jump on my lap while I am reading the paper and take a bath and settle in for a nap. I love these little creatures. They manage to make me laugh every day and make me feel needed and loved. Have I told you that Guido is in fact cross eyed? I thought just it looked that way because of the big black splat on his nose. Nope, his little eyes are not quite centered. That may be the reason he is a poor jumper.

Thanksgiving was uuhnn. 13 pounds of bird for two old folks; too much work, too much food. Thanksgiving had been for all of the years I was a nurse the throw away holiday. I worked every single Thanksgiving from 1975 to 1998. I gave that day away so I could have either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off. I don't know how to act on Thanksgiving. I made the obligatory comments...."Boy, the turkey is really moist." and "All of our work this morning paid off because everything tastes great." and then cleared the table as fast as I could. All of the kids called to wish us a happy day...they called as they were leaving for their own traditional celebrations.

My oldest son called....twice. I have blogged about my daughter and youngest son and I bet someone is saying...."Hum, I didn't know she had another son." He lives in New York and is a busy man. He is a single father raising his son. He has custody of both of his kids but his daughter was moved back to her mother in Oklahoma after being stupid. She is still having some troubles but I am praying she will outgrow or re-think some of her actions. My son has had his share of problems too. I was a less than stellar role model, he was a troubled kid and young adult. One was the direct result of the other. When it came to marriage and fatherhood though, he stepped up to the plate and has been right where he was needed. He is a good man, a wonderful son and father and I love him beyond words. It has been 9 years since I hugged him, 7 years since I have seen the kids. It is time.

I have been a less than stellar blogger friend too. I have been reading every one's blog but there were 4 days between my own posts. In my own defense, ahem, I DO HAVE ALL OF MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING DONE. I need to organize all of the gifts and start wrapping and I will but first......we are going to Las Vegas!!! We leave Saturday. Steve is attending a big Pharmacy conference at the Venetian and we are staying at Treasure Island.....right next to the MALL!! The weather is supposed to be good, at least that's what the weather bookies say. I will start packing tomorrow and getting all of the doggie stuff gathered for their stay in doggie jail aka the "Lodge."

I had mentioned in a previous post that I had considered more than once to stop blogging. I considered it again this past weekend. I am not going to stop blogging and for sure I am not going to stop visiting and commenting on every one's blog and here comes the but......but, I am not going to pressure myself to post every day any more. In looking back through my posts, a lot of what I wrote was just stuff. I highly doubt anyone really wants to read about the minutia of my day, my whining about missing my kids and blah, blah, blah. If I was a talented writer, funny, clever or even mildly interesting then that would change my feelings about this blog adventure. But.....the whole reason I started this blog was to leave a piece of myself for my children and anyone else that happened upon it and found I had something of importance to say. My daughter reads it, my daughter-in-law reads it, but if I happened upon this blog I would just click out and be on my merry way. So, I am going to try to put meaning in my words, post pictures that my kids and all of you might find interesting and leave the crap out.

As part of that plan I bought for my children and Steve's children, The Legacy Keeper. It is a memento box with a MP3 player, little cubbies for pictures etc. The player holds 8 hours of talking, remembering, music, just whatever someone might want to preserve. The recordings can then be downloaded to a CD. I told my daughter and youngest son what I had gotten for them because this is the kind of gift I thought they might get for me and I wanted to be sure there were no duplications because it is not an inexpensive gift. They both reacted rather blandly. Then I asked them if I died tomorrow did they have my voice recorded anywhere? Would they remember what I sounded like? Remember my laugh? Did they want to have that? I think once they get the gift it will be more meaningful. This isn't just for my kids to use with me. My son-in-law's father is not well. My daughter-in-law's parents are from Japan and I can only imagine the stories they have to share. My step-children have extended family on their mother's side that can tell them about their grandparents and Steve has a lot to tell them about his family. Hopefully the boxes and player will be used and appreciated.

So, on all of these happy notes I am off to wipe a clean counter, vacuum another already vacuumed carpet and think of something brilliant for my next about how I met my various husbands, some of my high school experiences, some nursie stories??? Let me know.


Nunnie's Attic said...

Aw Rosie, you seem so...funky. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. As for not blogging everyday... well I love to read what you have to say. But it shouldn't be a chore for you. So if you promise not to go away for good, we promise not to hound you into saying trivial things for the sake of blogging. And I think the gift idea is great. And very thoughtful. I would love to hear your voice!


Evil Twin's Wife said...

I, for one, love your blog. I love hearing about the kitties and seeing pics. Really, just reading about another person's take on the world and their area is interesting.
I may take a page from your book and try blogging less frequently for a bit. I still haven't bought any Christmas cards or gotten the kids' holiday pic at ALL. I am so behind! Hang in there!!

panthergirl said...

You know I'm partial to the "how I met my husbands" stuff. ;)

Re Vegas: I did well on the Wheel of Fortune slots at Mandalay Bay... ;)

jan said...

As a discerning blog reader, I wouldn't come here if you didn't offer something funny, poignant, human or otherwise. It shouldn't be a chore to write everyday, but you could describe your menagerie every day and I would be amused and relate to it.

kenju said...

Rosemary, I enjoy 99% of what you write - so have at it - and I will be here as often as I can. I do hope that you will get to hug your older son soon.

Mom said...

I love reading your blog, but daily posts are hard to do. Blog when you can, we, your faithful readers, will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter in the life of Rosie.
I love how we met stories. I bet you have some great nurse stories too.

Joan said...

As a faithful reader, let me tell you that you underestimate yourself as a blogger but I can understand your desire to leave the guilt and stress of daily blogging behind. Blogging should be enjoyable not a burden so I will leave it to you to decide what and when you post. Be assured, however, that I will continue to be right there reading your blog!

Auld Hat said...

What Julie said. Oh and, I love you. Play a quarter for me okay? Also, I love you. Did I say that already? Silly ol' me! Peanut is my daily joy. I will never be able to thank you enough for this lovely little creature; you named her well.

more cowbell said...

Oh goodgawd, blogging every day? Too much pressure! Having your Christmas shopping done already (!!!) is way more impressive than blogging every day. The others who said blogging shouldn't be a chore are spot on.

I really enjoy your blog, Rosemary. I think all 3 of your ideas for stories would be great reading material, and I'm looking forward to those already. You know how I got hooked on your blog? I found your blog around the time you were putting up posts with old pictures of you and your family, with the stories behind them. Those stories and pics were wonderful, and I've been hooked ever since.

I can so relate to the winter funk, girl, also living in a place more for others than yourself. That's hard. I struggle with that during 'the rainy season' here. I joke about it, and get my sarcastic bitching on, but it seriously gets to me. More than people know.

Anyway, blog when you feel like it, screw the schedule, but please please don't stop.

Oh! And I think the memory boxes sound like a very cool gift, and I bet they turn out to be some of the best gifts through the years.

jp said...

Enough with this talk about how we should be blogging about stuff people might actually want to read. Because then I'll want to quit too.

Lorraine said...

I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself and your blogging abilities, dear. Really.

Sling said...

I've looked over the official blogging rules,and nowhere does it mention having to blog every day.
I really wish it was a rule, I could break it...that's how I roll.
I look forward to reading whatever it is you have to say Rosie!..
My own kids know that I blog,but have no interest in reading it..That's okay.They have important things going on in their own lives.
Still,I really think it's a good idea to get our thoughts out there for future reference...
So..We'll be seeing pix of the Vegas trip soon,..right?

Stephanie said...

Just so you know, I love reading about your days. Kind of makes me feel like I am still there....(When I used to live with you.)

Ex-Shammickite said...

You certainly don't need to blog every day, that would be far too much pressure on you, and on us too, cos we would have to read it on a daily basis! I like your blogs, you tell so much about yourself, and Steve, and the cats, dogs, bears, whatever other wildlife is out there... I enjoy it, so please don't stop writing it all down.
As you have guessed, I am back home from Florida, I had such a good time, being away for a whole month was wonderful.
I'll be post in more pics of Florida in the next few days.
Thanks for sticking with me even when I didnt have internet access, it's great to be back in touch.

madretz said...

i can only echo what everyone else has already said. I love reading your blog, your honesty, wit and sarcasm. You are funny and sincere at the same time.

Both of my parents are gone. I do not have any evidence of their voices. I have very very little of their writings. Nothing journalistic from my dad. Maybe 3 sentences from my mom from an old calendar that she had written something mediocre like "had a good lunch with Betty today". I'm grateful for the few handwritten recipes that she had. But I would so dearly love those missing links of my parents. To hear their voices again. To read about what they were like as children, teenagers, young adults, a couple, growing old. I know absolutely nothing about them pre-me. In my naive eyes, they were only parents, not a woman and man full of stories, amazing stories. So very very VERY sad. Perhaps your kids are bland now, but they will be grateful. They could also be bland because they do not believe you will ever go. My mom wanted to have a 'talk' with me about 3 months before she died and i put her off because I 'knew' that i had more time. My regrets. Your kids don't have to have them, too.

Middle Child said...

You blog when you want to thats the beauty of it... if I am really busy or can't be bothered, I leave quite some days between but try to run through my blog roll at least once a week... Have grown rather fone of most...

I feel for you not having seen your son for so long. I have 2 daughters. One rings daily and the other weekly...we only see each other a few times a year...I am hoping they never choose to move overseas or something...
without Don here it is very lonely rattling about the house... and haven't learnt what to so with myself yet... but I did print out the best posts I had and put them in a cheap ring binder because they sort of became a journal of the times I was living... someone will really appreciate what you are doing...not always when you do it but in time to come. Kids don't like to actually have to think that Mum and dad may not be around... but one day we won't and it will mean something to them