There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark



Wednesday, February 11, 2009

selfish

I want new couches for the downstairs living room. I would move the two ugly couches from downstairs up and move the ugly stuff from upstairs down, but the two uglies downstairs won't fit through the up opening.

I want blond hair. We have well water and I have to use blue shampoo so my hair doesn't turn orange. I still want blond hair.

I want a Kindle. I am overt in my asking. I want it as a gift so I don't feel so guilty in my wanting. I am gonna have to get more overt.

I want to be able to concentrate better when I read my wonderful fiction books with print on paper. I think the computer has done something to my brain. I know, makes the previous statement and this one at odds......printed words on faux paper as in a screen is OK...my books, my rules.

I want a new handbag. I made the huge mistake of saying when I got Big Louie that I would never need another handbag. I was wrong. Any suggestions around this one?

I want the damn snow to stop. I need an inside with God for that one. I have been a bad girl for most of my life. Not happening I guess.

I want to feel accomplished.....at what I can't quite put my finger on.

I want to remember every minute of my past life. I know some people call this an affliction, but at my age....I want to re-feel what I lived!

I want to stop swearing. How do I do that? Those words slip out before I can stop them. I picked up that nasty habit from my second husband....oh, I said sh*t and damn, but those other fours were not in my vocabulary.

I want to communicate with my mom and dad. Someone told me a long time ago that going to their graves and talking to them would bring their spirits to me. Didn't/hasn't happened.

I want to figure out how to pray.....something beyond saying the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary's over and over again for comfort. I used to go into the local Catholic Church (when I lived in California) at odd hours when no one was there....on the way home from getting something at the market, home from work, after a family something when Steve was on the road. I didn't pray but I felt quiet and lighter at those times.

I want to be financially worry free......go ahead, laugh yourself off your chair.

I want to travel to Norway with Steve and find help him find his family roots. Too expensive.

I want Fuzz and Penelope to be as they were last summer.....before legs and bowels.

I want to sleep through the night and not wake or get up once to use the bathroom. Stupid bladder.

I want a house without stairs......all flat, one level, wood floors and huge bathrooms.

So there!

19 comments:

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I also want a flat house with big bathrooms. You know what they say about the power of positive thoughts! :-)

Mom said...

I think blue would be the perfect color for your hair.
Prayer is easy. You just talk to God and God listens. God will even overlook the bad words because you have such a good heart. No secret to prayer. When you talk, God listens. Watch the movie Fiddler On the Roof and watch haw Tevia prays.

Sling said...

I think Rosemary should have everything she wants!
God thinks you should have everything you need..Just ask Him,He'll listen.

Jennie said...

I've always wanted to go to Norway and Sweden.
Financially worry-free? We spent over $11,000 out of pocket in health bills last year! =O We're going to have to go the apple-a-day route soon.
I think you're normal - these are normal wishes and longings to be safe. I just reminded Seth last night that all who call on the name of the Lord are saved. Prayer is just earnest words to God - and the Holy Spirit does the rest. The Holy Spirit takes our feeble words and brings them to God's ears with perfection, so no worries! I wonder what the holy spirit does with wishes for couches, handbags and blond hair, don't you?

sageweb said...

ha you want some great things..the one thing that stuck with me is you want to re-feel what you have lived. You must have had a beautiful life. I would never want to re-feel my life..maybe just the last 10 years.,.but nothing after that.

rosemary said...

sage: no, my past life was miserable for the most part...it has been great since I met Steve in 1982...but....as I have gotten older and my life has settled and become routine and my memories fade....I wish I could go back and re-live I guess certain things....like how I felt when I was pregnant, when my kids were born, when I was in nursing school, falling in love, feel my mom and dad, smell the wood on my dad's clothes, just things like that....even remembering the really bad stuff might bring a sense of closure to me. Like I said...selfish..... I want to be selective in my memories.

utenzi said...

That's a lot of wants, Rosemary. I usually just want to be left alone---and have plenty of books on hand. Oh, and lots of candy too.

rosemary said...

sue, jennie, sling: prayer was always reciting something of gloom and doom while growing up...I went to Catholic school, Mass on Sunday and have felt guilty and full of sin all of my life. When the Church switched to open, participating Mass I felt like a traitor and just stopped going because Mass and Church were for punishment not joy. Now, just a little prayer and a feeling of peace if only for a minute every day wild be nice....time alone with God, His Son and The Spirit would be nice too.

ETW: I can want this kind of house for the rest of my life...not gonna happen unless I become so infirm that I can't go up the stairs ever again in this house. snif

madretz said...

You might be interested in this little commentary about cursing:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200811/swear-words

I have no issues w/ swearing, but I think there are certain times when it's inappropriate to break it out. In front of children mostly. I also know there are sensitive ears (eyes) so I'm typically not compelled to swear in public spaces. But I also think everyone should talk/write like they do in their own space, ie blog, home, etc.

Joan said...

It's amazing how many "wants" we have in common particularly the ones about nightly trips to the bathroom and concentrating better. I guess those just come naturally with age...damn!

NellJean said...

I hope you feel more positive today, it being Abraham Lincoln's birthday and all. Remember what he said about Happiness?

cs said...

Ro:HHM & I were born/raised Catholic. We left the church 5 years ago and now attend Calvary--it is sooo refreshing, forgiving, loving, and most of all, it restores that wonderful sense of peace and hope back to your soul. I didn't say it was easy all the time....in fact the moment we accepted Christ as our saviour and started to develop a "relationship" with Him, things actually got worse in the world for us. But, there is a sense of love I have never felt before. I know where I came from and I know where I am going now. Just a big dirt clod avoiding the rain. :^)

If you knew my background you'd think I would never make it to heaven--so not true anymore....when we meet for lunch this spring/summer I will share some things with you.
Peace and much love northern friend!

Miss Healthypants said...

So...have you read any Dr. Dyer yet? It might help. *smiles* (I recommend "The Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.")

Also, I swear like a trucker. You'd never know it from my blog, but the f*** word comes out more often than I'd like it to. But as long as I don't say it in public, I figure it's okay. :)

Cazzie!!! said...

Try to relax with a foot spa...soak your feet in warm water with some peppermint oil and chamomile oil and lavender oil sprinkled in there. It will do you the World of good :)

kenju said...

I want a lot of the same things, Rosemary, but it ain't gonna happen, so I try to be content with what I do have and not worry about other stuff. Easier said than done, of course.

more cowbell said...

I want to be financially worry-free too. I figure if I work until I'm 97, I can do it, too. As for the swearing, I can't afford a spa treatment, so it's my stress outlet. damn it. I've never wanted blonde hair, or any other color than what I've had naturally. What I DO want is that color and that color alone. No friggin' grey, damn it. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. I hope you get at least some of your wants, rosemary.

Kimberly Ann said...

I have zero wisdom but as long as you are still wishing, you are still hoping and that is good.

And at least the snow will stop - eventually.

Hang in there. :-)

Middle Child said...

"I want to stop swearing. How do I do that? " You wouldn't believe the uproar I caused recently when I sent my deadshit of a socialworker sister an email and called her a "Hoe" in it...I meant a gardening tool but her ponce of a uhsband got all miffed...

apparently she can lie about me to my other sisters and family for years and cover it up...admit it to me with no witnesses, but when I swear at her...like "shit for brains" or "Fuckwit" the words are worse than the destructive lies

NO Rosemary you keep swearing... its honest and clean and clears the air like a bloody good storm.

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