There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark



Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sniff, snork

There is a rhythm to my life...a security in the routines and mundane. I vacuum every day, dust and wash floors.  Visits from my children and grandchildren change some of that.  I vacuum, but hurry up to do it.  I dust, but miss a lot of fluff.  I wash floors, but walk on them before they are dry.  I even miss a cleaning day when my kids visit.  I know.....strange.

When the kids are here there is a flurry of love, fun and activity.  The dogs bypass me in the morning and go straight for the visitor in the sun room bed.  Snacks are given under the table from a dinner plate.  Violet falls in love all over again with Auntie Chris, Uncle Bert or the new guy, Tommy.  The cats know they will get neck rubs and Emma acts like a feline hooker to be first in line.  Even Mimi Louise restrained from smacking Chris this visit. 

This most recent visit was a renewal visit.  My daughter is hurting.  I want to think she needed her mom; and that got me thinking.......I remember her calling me Mommy; I can hear her voice, Gil and Art's voices too.....Mommy? When did I go from Mommy to Mom? Does it mean the same thing when an adult child cries and calls you mom just like they did when you were Mommy?  

I hate, absolutely hate to think one of my kids is hurting to the point of tears and sobs.  All three of them have been in that place.  I can't make things better anymore, get them out of painful situations, or fix-it.  They are all adults after-all and need to figure some of life's miseries out by themselves.  But, I wish I could be Mommy again and finally protect my kids, fix those painful situations or put on a bandage.  All I can do as mom is listen.  I hope that is enough.

On the fun side of this visit.....we ate at Oishi the sushi joint and were full and happy;  we ate at The Dish and were full and happy;  we saw The Backup Plan and managed to laugh; we walked First Street and window shopped to the tune of a few thousand bucks; we all got a cherry cordial mocha coffee at Starbucks and managed to laugh at my cheating at checkers while we sipped the drinks;  we made tostadas and spaghetti,  faux cinnabons and cupcakes; and I hope my daughter found that fierce strength and determination that I know she has while she was here....in Sandpoint with her mommy.


12 comments:

FoxyMoron said...

It wasn't until quite recently (and I am fifty now) that I stopped feeling the need to go to my mum with all my woes, and that is only because now she needs us a lot more than she did. I still find some comfort in talking to her if I get her on a good day.
I hope my kids will always need me, it's just the needs change as they grow older.
Sounds like a lovely time with your girl, I'm sure you recharged her and was able to go on with renewed strength. What a lovely mum you are Rosemary.

Jan said...

You vacuum every day? and dust? every day? You are definitely Super Mom and Holly Homemaker. I am most impressed.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I'm mom all the time..except when she's scared, hurt or hurt and scared..them im mommy again...
you vacuum and dust every day?..sigh*

Mom said...

You'll always be Mommy when they hurt, even if they call you mom.

I am crossing my fingers and hoping that you will be able to come visit me. Be warned though, I don't vacuum and dust every day.

powdergirl said...

Jeez, I think I need a visit with my Mommy,

I hope your family knows how lucky they are to have you : )

Jennie said...

I hope she found some strength there with her mommy too. Some types of strength only come from moms no matter how old you are. Secondly, I usually don't make friends with people who mop and dust that often. You and Coleen are the exceptions, but whenever she tells me she's going home to mop her floors, I threaten to not talk to her anymore.

kenju said...

If she could get it anywhere, she'd get it while being with you, Mom!!

sageweb said...

i wish I had the time to vacuum everyday..it makes me feel good. Hope things get better for the daughter and I think it is neat she still needs her Mommy.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

My 4 yr old calls me "Mom" and sometimes "Mudder" LOL. I don't know where she got that from! My 12 yr old alternates between mom and mommy, but mostly mom.

I'm glad you spent time with your daughter and gave her what she needed, from her mommy.

jp said...

I still call mom every time I'm sick and ask her what to do. Even if I already know what to do.

Miss Healthypants said...

Aww, I hope your daughter feels better soon. I love the terms "Mommy" and "Daddy." That's part of the reason why I call my Dad "Daddy-o" as an affectionate term...somehow my Mom became "Mamacita." :)

And what is this about cherry cordial mocha coffee???? Oh my goodness, that sounds good! :)

Middle Child said...

Like being in a shopping centre, and someone calls out "Mum" in that two syllable way and you look around hopefully...but knowing they are hundreds of miles away...

My mum and I were so close so that when she just died one day in 1993 I never though I would ever feel happy again...but I did...I still miss my mum