There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Monday, September 07, 2015

rosemary twitchel wanders

It's Labor Day weekend.  It has rained since Friday.  Bet there are a lot of unhappy campers right about now as they break down camp and head home to start another work week.  We did the same things we always do holiday or work, cleaned the garages, went to the dump;  retired people stuff.

I'm not sleeping well at all.  I do that a lot.  I lay in bed for hours thinking about all kinds of random things.  Other nights I roam around in the dark with Emma and Guido following me like puppycats. I try to not turn on the computer because then I will never get to sleep.  Last night I turned it on.

The blogs I regularly read are pretty much brilliant; book material.  The writers are absolute wordsmiths; creative, funny, serious, deep thinkers, artists.  In all the years I have been blogging I have never hit the next blog function; last night I did.

I did not know there were blogs about guns, fishing, surfing, liars and cheaters, disgruntled employees, boaters, bow and arrow hunters, inventors hawking products, divorcees, and on and on.  I figured there were cooking blogs, informational blogs and entertainment blogs, but people write about everything....every little thing.  People spill their guts, tell some of the most private things in their lives in blogs.  Me?  I will always keep those most horrible parts of me for me.  And, I am not a writer, not that I ever thought I was. I was a nurse.

I wanted to be a doctor when I started high school.  That was quickly dismissed after getting a D in beginning A&P.  Then there is the story of how I ran into the asshole that became my first husband the second semester of freshman year. I had met him the summer before I had started high school. Long story not even worth wasting my time to write about.  We did have two pretty spectacular kids though. 

Aside from being extremely proud of my children, I am proud of the nurse I was.  I had more compassion for my patients than 10 nurses combined.  I was smart, kept up on all of the latest treatments and devices and got as far in school as taking a few Master's classes.  I never complained about my assignments....really, never.  I loved bedside care (other RNs called it Primary Care...whoooo), could start IVs when other nurses failed, put in a zillion PICC lines, took care of AIDS patients when no one else would, cried with families and actually still keep in touch with two wives of my patients.  I cleaned shit off of who knows how many butts, backs, bellies, private parts and a wall or two, helped take a carrot out of a man's rectum, a roll on deodorant bottle out of another, and then there was the alcoholic patient with the alcoholic friend who thought it would be funny to put a goldfish in an IV bottle (this was pre plastic bag fluids), and then yell because the fucking fish died.  I worked on an Ortho/Neuro floor and we were the dumping ground for isolation patients and ER DNR overflow.  I saw it all; the best and the worst of the human condition.  And I met Steve. Oh, the stories I could tell.  ~Sigh, memories~

I looked up all kinds of breast info last night.  See, Louie the Lump is acting weird.  Sometimes I can't feel it at all, sometimes it feels smaller, sometimes it is the same.  Whatever; Louie gets needled on the 15th. Steve is really over me constantly asking him to see if Louie feels the same or different.  I've never known nor asked if Steve is a boob or ass or some other body part man, but he for sure isn't a boob man now. 

It's 5:06 PM PDT.  I'm in my jammies and ready for bed. 


jp said...

Tell Louie not to get too comfortable in there. When you're not paying the rent you get evicted.

And I'm really sorry about that carrot thing. But you should've seen the looks that people were giving me in the grocery store that day.

Get some sleep tonight.

rosemary said...

No sleep, jp. I did have a talk with Louie...he is front and center and topside today...literally.

more cowbell said...

"Like" to JP's comment, just to get that out of the way.

My mom was a nurse. She came to it later in life. Went back to school when I was in high school, graduated when I was overseas in the Army. She loved it. Absolutely loved it. She was made charge nurse in less than two years, and she didn't even have her masters in nursing. She told me she finally could let go of that little secret feeling of inferiority from not having a "real" profession or a degree. Then she got diagnosed with MS, and had to stop working. She was a nurse, I think, for fewer than five years, all told, or maybe just over five years. She still thinks of herself as a nurse, though. She said it's something just stays with you. I'm really glad she had that and that it became part of who she is.

The computer and nighttime hours are a dangerous combination, lady.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

I've hit next blog a time or two myself. :0)
You are in my thoughts and prayers Rosemary. (((hugs)))

Auld Hat said...

lurking. It's late. Love you xoxo

Bad Alice said...

A compassionate nurse makes all the difference in the world. I still feel sorry for the nurses who had to deal with my MIL while my youngest was in the hospital. Patience of saints, I tell you. It sounds like you were a great nurse, and that means you made a big difference to lots of people. You should indeed be proud. As for Louis the Lump - he hasn't got a chance.

rosemary said...

cowbell, anytime before the 90's was a tough time to be a nurse. Nursing was then almost 100% female, doctors were almost all male and sexual harassment, misogyny was the norm. I was proud of my profession, but back in the 80's we were our own worst enemies. Loved the work, the patients, the technology.....not the political crap that was to come. Louie is sleeping in this's chilly.

madretz said...

I've been away from the blog world for several months and just caught up with what's been going on w/ you. I'm so sorry to hear about Louie and sending all kinds of good mojo your way. xoxo

rosemary said...

Hi Madeline! I bookmarked your've ben blogging, I was sort of out of it for a year or so....I'll catch up. Mojo is good....send lots!

booda baby said...

Kisses and a big hug and THE BEST healing thoughts in the whole world for you and Louie today.