There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Tuesday, May 03, 2016


My life has changed a bit in the last 2 weeks.  I'm in charge of everything....every little thing.  That's the way it was when Steve traveled all of the time.  I ran the show.  Slowly, after he retired, I gave up some duties.  Seems I gave up the wrong ones.

I'm an early morning person.  Up at 6, breakfast ready to go as soon as Steve is done taking the dogs out, feeding the deer and getting the paper.  Now I'm the dog, deer, paper person and I had forgotten just how sweet 6 in the morning really is. 

It's quiet at 6.  No turkeys or crows screeching, no cars on the road yet; just me and the dogs out in the forest.  The grass smells better at 6.  The trees are greener at 6.  The bird songs are much more beautiful at 6.  I got to see the first sweet violets this spring, the first ferns pop up (they're not unfurled just yet).   I stay and wait for the deer to come out for their 4 little pans of grain and corn.  They come from the east; slowly, not a sound made and wait to see if I'm going to leave.  When I stay put, it's the yearlings that come to the pans first.  I was surprised at that; I thought the older does would be the first ones to be piggy's.  Sunday there were 11, yesterday 9, and today 9 again.  They are just as nasty as ever.  The largest doe gets in the most kicks, but while she is acting up the smaller ones eat.

Violet is at her best at 6.  She is rested, maybe a little more aware of where she is and today she even managed to run a little bit.  Wes is his usual pony self, jumping, running and acting like he is a puppy and Pete...well, he is just little submissive Pete. 

Afternoons have become special too.  Petey has decided to be my band aid.  He goes with me to put the laundry in the dryer and then we go out to get the mail. He is a great turkey feather finder (poop finder too), and can hear the moles under the grass.  But, he is never far from me.  In the last 2 weeks I have taught him to look both ways before crossing the road....really, he looks both ways and he carried a piece of mail in his mouth for a few feet before he dropped it.  Pretty smart my Pete.

I have gotten in 2 bike rides since Steve's surgery.  They were leisurely rides with some power moments.  But, mostly I have enjoyed 45 minutes to myself.  The lilacs and syringas are blooming, and Rob's field is already sprouting little blades of sweet grass....he just seeded last week.  The Oylers moved their chicken house so I can't see the chickens jumping all over the fenced yard.  The new people on the corner....I can't remember their names and call them The Redheads....have cleared a pretty impressive garden area. The snow on the Seven Sisters is melting.  Only the second Sister is still totally covered.  I have only yelled stupid bitch to one woman driver who was in such a hurry to get to her drive that she cut me off and kicked up rocks that hit me.  I hope she heard me. 

I need to remember these moments.  I need to remember that Idaho has overwhelming beauty even when I am missing my kids so much my body aches....because, Idaho is where I am.  Period. 

Steve is healing and will eventually take back his morning routine.  That's OK.....I can always go out with him if I want to.  But, I'm not giving Pete back to him in the afternoon.  Mom and Pete; that stays. 


Anonymous said...

oh I love this. I love the quiet solitude of early morning. Miss it.


how blissful....sigh*

booda baby said...

One of my favorite things of all time - when someone's (yours) bliss sneaks its way across the internet and through the screen and floats through our house. Thank you for this moment.

Gina Emory said...

I love the picture you paint of your mornings, Rosemary! Pete sounds like Riley. We call him our velcro dog. He follows Tom around all day now that he's retired. When I get home, he follows me everywhere. Shei is our submissive boy who just wants to be loved on - nonstop. And Oscar is Oscar...our underdog who is firmly embedded in our hearts. I wish we had a forest to go walking in like you do, but Ponder Point isn't half bad. At least we don't have crazy bitches driving too fast down the street here. :-) Love you!!

kenju said...

I am not often up at that time of day, but I agree that it is a special time. I hope Steve is feeling better.

jp said...

Getting up before the sun has become one of my favorite things in recent years. If the 30something version of me were still around he'd kick my ass for saying such a thing.

Mom said...

How lovely to notice the sweetness around you when life is hard. It does ease the burden of loneliness a bit, just a bit.