There's rosemary, that's for remembrance.
William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark



Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Situation of the Situations.

I Started this on the 24th of March.....I'll update rather than start all over again. 

I read an article in TIME magazine yesterday while I was sitting in the neurosurgeon's waiting room.  The article was about how older people feel about the end of life.  Their survey found that most had accepted it as a part of their life/living/humanness and were using the time they had left to make the most fabulous memories they could.  They had made bucket lists and achieved most of the things in life they had wanted to. 

JP isn't the only one with a bucket list. I had a bucket list too.  Here is what has happened to the list:

Be blonde again; I opted for straight hair for a year.  Either one would have been to expensive to maintain.

Drive a race car.  My friend Delci bought into a Groupon for exactly that at the Spokane Raceway and gave it to me for Christmas.  My cardiologist said no.  I had to give the Groupon back.

Travel to a place I would call paradise.  We can't afford to travel to the grocery store.

Make love like we used to.  Steve would probably be paralyzed if we did that....me too. 

I think I wrote that I wanted to move closer to my kids.  There is no way we will ever, ever, ever be able to afford So Cal living.

I want to finish all of the books I have in my iPad....I might be able to achieve that. 

So, the situation about the situations.  Steve has had two steroid injections.  Neither one gave him any relief from his back pain but, he did have a migraine and leg cramps afterward. No third injection and surgery is going to happen late April after having an echocardiogram and lab work done (done and waiting for results). 

I blogged about my numb fingertips, the balance crap, the neurosurgery consult.  That happened yesterday (the 23rd).  I was seen first by the PA.  Nice girl, thorough, no clue what she thought.  Dr. Ganz came in shortly after the PA assessment.  He said he didn't think my issues were necessarily related to my neck.  My neck is a mess.....degenerative changes, narrowing, three discs making dents on my spinal cord.  But.....he's not sure why I am having these particular symptoms.  Then, he did a more indepth exam and changed his mind.  After lots of talking back and forth, questions and concerns he thinks I will need a 3 level discectomy with a plate and 3 screws.  Had motion xrays done to be sure my head isn't going to fall off, have an appointment for an MRI of my thoracic spine (done today the 31st), need to see my cardiologist for clearance for surgery the 6th, have an EMG the 7th, and on the way home from the neuro doc appointment I checked messages and he wants me to be fitted for and wear a Miami J collar whenever I am upright....oh, I can take it off for showering, sleeping, and eating.  The fitting is on the 8th. 

I am not sure what is really going to happen because the EMG appointment is with a neurologist and maybe all of these symptoms are from something totally unrelated to my neck.  So, fuck wearing the J collar because it is a horrible torture thing and we will see what my cardio doc says because my heart is way more important than having to adjust to numb fingers and walking like I am shit faced. 

No, I am not particularly compliant.  Too bad. I will try the collar......as in put it on for a while and see if my symptoms miraculously go away.  I don't see the neuro doc until mid May and I will just tell him I have been wearing the collar, it really bothers me, and didn't help. 

I'm going to start a new bucket list.  First thing is:  Ride my bike as many days as I can when the weather is good......starting tomorrow.  That's the current situation of the situations. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

The Doctor Said....

Just a quick note about Gil.  He saw the eye doc this morning and everything is healing well.  The laser points have scared, the buckle is in place, and the gas bubble is about 55% gone.  His vision is blurry, he has to hold reading material really close to his face and he will need cataract surgery in another year.  Yes, Gil failed to tell me he had a cataract.  One thing at a time, mom, he said. 

His biggest complaint is depth perception.  It is horrible and his good eye gets really tired and twitches....all things the doctor said will take time to normalize.

He has his next follow-up appointment in 3 weeks.  He forgot to ask the doctor if he can run.  ~sigh~  He promised he would call the doctor and ask before he laces up.  He just can't relax and heal.  All of our kids seem to have the same attitude when we "advise" or ask them to be a bit more responsible.  Silence and then, I heard you, Mom. Gil has two kids......he'll find out soon enough.